Jan 19, 2018
Alexa is a sex coach and a mentor on a mission to reform sex education and sexual expression across the globe. She was born in the deep south of Louisiana, and experienced an “abstinence only” style of sexual education growing up. After spending the majority of her adult life on aboard a cruise ship, and enduring a relationship that seemed perfect from the outside, but in reality was very disconnected, she decided to explore the world of sex, love and relationships. After meeting tons of people, having a lot of different experiences, and helping solve sexual disconnect within others, she found her life's purpose in her sex positive brand: The Violet Butterfly.
Stacie talks about sex, and it's purpose being for reproduction, and Alexa is more than happy to debunk that myth. She shares various insights that show we as humans, have sex for pleasure, and that our connection to our sexuality is vital to our health and well being overall. She describes the relationship most people have with sex, and how we're taught not to prioritize it, or it's significance.
Alexa and Stacie go on to discuss how to openly talk about sex and fantasies within your relationship in order to open up exploration in the bedroom and beyond. She shares ways to keep the sexy in the room while trying new things, and how to set up a fun and introduce new things into the bedroom without having the expectation that sex is going to happen. She goes on to describe sexual energy, and how play and flirtation can be just as exciting, and that sexual energy can manifest itself in many creative places as well.
Alexa talks non verbal cues, and gives a few examples that you can use to set a sexy tone without using so much as a word, and how to tell is someone is giving off a sexual vibe. She explains how body language can play a huge part in attraction, and how both women and men use body language to show who they are attracted to, from their neck to their shoes. She also talks about the biological perspective where sex is concerned, and how everything from a woman's voice to a man's anatomy lends itself to the sexual nature of human kind.
Stacie asks about boundaries, and how to set the framework in order to not only have boundaries, but have the other person respect them. Alexa clarifies that you need to have that conversation with yourself first of all. She tells a story about a time someone crossed a line and stepped beyond her boundaries by touching her without invitation, and how that was not okay within that particular situation. Had he checked in and found out where her boundaries were, things would have gone in a much better direction.
Alexa shares an exercise called Want Will and Won't. She explains how the exercise works in order to express what you truly want, what you're okay with, and what you will not do.
Quotes
“To everyone on the outside looking in, it was literally the coolest life.”
“When you question the box instead of yourself, then things shift and they change”
“There's only one other species of primate that has sex almost as much as we do”
“A big part of a human's life is their sexuality and their connection to self.”
“We are built for sex”
“Your views on your body and your sexuality: how were they shaped and who shaped them?”
“It all comes down communication”
“Once you get comfortable, you can't go back”
Links